February 10, 2021
One of Those Days: A Prayer (Well, Kind of)
O Lord, I am trying to write this prayer
on a day that’s
one
of those days,
one of those days
I have
more than I want to have,
days
out of focus,
hard to concentrate
(jigsaw puzzle beckoning, 1,000 pieces
tantalizing, taunting, testing me,
can’t walk by and ignore),
thoughts jumbled,
mind wandering,
images flitting in and out,
wishing it would warm up,
hear you better outside, on the deck,
sun shining,
too cold for that though,
so here I am inside,
inside my head,
rattling around,
not sure what to pray,
just one
of those days
which are most of my days these days
(covid cobweb days?),
and so
praying like I do most days,
scattering prayers throughout the day,
little pieces of prayers
littering the day,
hardly prayers at all,
simply what comes whenever something, someone,
comes to mind: Help…
Heal…
Be with…
Comfort…
Lift…
Grace…
him, her, us!
And always: Thank you!
And: Forgive me!
(Never a day, hardly an hour, that one not said).
So scattered prayers today,
because just
one
of those days.
Like the one that popped into my head this morning, Lord,
a foolish little prayer maybe,
but maybe not,
a prayer of thanks,
thanks for helping me
break my addiction to the news,
no longer compulsively hitting the news app on my phone,
putting myself through a kind of
detox,
cleansing myself of
toxic
politics,
finding some peace of mind;
or like
the prayer that came
as I remembered something one of our daughters said about
parents working at home,
children schooling at home,
families frazzled because everyone home,
parents pulling their hair out,
wanting to scream,
children wanting to scream,
both actually screaming,
then suddenly thinking,
much worse
for single mothers or fathers, wondering
how they do it,
hearing in my head
a prayer, a plea,
that you grace them
with the strength and patience and understanding they need
to survive the frustration and stress
of it all;
then adding something to the grocery list
and out of the blue
Publix workers pictured,
and other workers working,
at risk,
making sure there is food on the shelves,
or people still able to pick up their Chic-fil-A
(talk about addictions),
or get their Starbucks (no comment),
or conduct business,
or have their eyes checked,
a prayer of thanks forming,
then jarring thoughts
about those out of work, struggling to put food on the table,
no longer in line for chicken or coffee,
putting off the eye doctor, dentist, most everything,
another prayer coming,
that relief, work, hope,
would come;
then walking by the puzzle (big mistake),
stopping to search for that elusive piece eluding me,
not seeing the piece,
but a face,
someone in the hospital,
then another face,
my doctor’s face on the phone, virtual visage visiting (the new house call?),
then thoughts of patients, doctors, nurses,
suddenly praying as I was searching,
saying heal, be with, sustain them;
then seeing the piece
(oh, sweet triumph!),
laughing at myself,
more thanks said,
for all the little things that can still get us laughing;
then not laughing,
looking at my call list,
seeing amidst the names
the names of three whose husbands recently died,
setting off thoughts about how many among us
have lost a husband or wife,
even a child,
but then,
I think about all of them
every day,
every day, all of them,
every day strewn with prayers mumbled,
that you
comfort,
lift up,
strengthen,
each one,
and that they find life, even joy, once more,
and pray too
for all those who have died of the coronavirus
and their families;
and more
throughout the day,
helter-skelter thoughts become
helter-skelter prayers on
helter-skelter days.
O Lord, it’s just one of those days,
and so
I finally pray
what I always pray
on these days that are most of my days these days,
that
the Spirit
will make some sense
out of what I find myself
saying,
praying,
pleading,
and you would
help,
heal,
be with,
comfort,
lift up,
grace,
us all,
and move us
to give you
thanks
even if
it’s one
of those days.
Amen.