Wednesday, July 15, 2020
Lord, What Do I Do with My Anger? A Ranting Prayer
O Lord, what do I do, what do I do
with my
anger?
The anger
that comes
the moment I wake up,
yesterday’s thoughts
waking up with me,
waking up yesterday’s anger now today’s anger,
the anger
that comes
with the morning news that is not new at all,
senseless shootings,
another child killed,
– a child! –
violence violating the inviolable,
and a virus still violating our lives,
while politicians
posture and prevaricate;
the anger
that comes
when what should be heard
is not heard,
no call
to support police and protestors alike,
to work together,
no guiding word to guide us,
no calming word to calm us,
no healing word to heal us;
the anger
that comes
when I hear instead what is heard,
the posts,
the tweets,
the interviews,
powerful people whining,
rich people whining,
and the powerless and poor and middle too,
poor me,
poor me, it’s not fair,
poor me, it’s not fair, it’s not my fault,
it’s not fair, it’s not my fault,
it’s not my fault,
it’s
them, is not,
it’s, is too,
them, is not,
it’s, is too,
them, is not
like hearing little children
on a playground,
kindergarten emotions,
the pouting,
the ranting,
the sulking,
ads now adding to the anger,
attack ads attacking,
afraid ads making the afraid more afraid;
and the anger
that comes
when I see what I see on the screen,
the hatred,
the cruelty,
the sheer stupidity,
faces of every color contorted
with hatred,
and the cruelty,
the cruelty
that makes you turn away in disgust,
and the shrugs
shrugging off
any thought of the other,
(“Hey, it’s a free country, isn’t it? I can do whatever I please,
even infect
grandma and grandpa.
But, hey, don’t blame me”);
the anger,
the anger
at injustice,
suffering,
utter selfishness,
the anger
that the night alone
is powerless against.
Especially the anger
greater than all the other angers,
the anger
at myself,
because no different, not really,
whining with the best of them,
a good pouter too,
many days back on the playground,
kindergarten emotions,
selfishness no stranger to me,
nor hatred,
and fear and prejudice too,
the good that I want to do –
oh, you know the rest, Lord,
especially that business about the evil within
every last one of us –
anger at myself for
not standing against,
not standing with,
not standing up for
what I should, whom I should,
not speaking out like I should,
the good I don’t do.
But is it
just me?
Do I dare say
we?
O Lord, what do I, what do we do
with our
anger?
There’s really no one
to tell,
talk with,
turn to,
everyone having their own truth,
their own facts,
their own belief,
every conversation
a confrontation
or conversion attempt.
So teach us to turn to you,
to give our anger to you,
so that we can give our love to others;
teach us to take our anger out on you
and not on others
because
our argument
is with you,
not them,
(Why don’t you do something?!);
teach us to quarrel with you
like
Moses and the prophets and the psalmists
and Paul and Jesus too
quarreled with you,
quarrel a lover’s quarrel,
so that like lovers
we come away
loving you even more;
teach us to feel the anger you feel,
righteous anger,
anger at disease and death,
anger at
what is evil,
cruel,
unjust; and
teach us
to get angry enough at ourselves
to grow up,
grow up into Christ,
to get a grip and
get on with it,
get on with doing what is right
and real
and true,
angry enough
to suck it up
and keep serving
no matter what others do,
to let our righteous anger
become righteous energy
and live your truth,
live out of the reality of your love,
live the fact of you
day after day.
O Lord, heal those battling the coronavirus,
sustain those who care for them,
comfort those who mourn.
And
heal,
sustain,
and
comfort us as well.
Heal
this nation!
Sustain
all struggling to do what is right!
Comfort
us in these days of uncertainty and tumult!
Lift us
in hope!
Love us
unto
a new day!
Amen.