December 2003

        Christmas can be a wonderful time of the year. Personally, I love it! I love the music and decorations and trees and lights. I get caught up in it all and carried away with it all - after all, God got a little carried away, didn't he? For me, it is a time when brighter visions truly do beam afar.
        Of course Christmas can also be a very difficult time of year for many people. And perhaps understanding why and what can be done will help to make it again a time of wonder and hope. There are a number of reasons why Christmas can be so difficult but two, in particular, stand out.
        One is that Christmas has become not so much a celebration of the birth of Christ as it has a celebration of the family. Families are supposed to gather at Christmas and the expectation is that everyone will be happy. For those who are alone or who have lost someone, the emphasis on family can lead to loneliness and depression as they are constantly reminded of what they no longer have. Those with families often exhaust themselves trying to get everyone together, make everyone happy and satisfy all the demands. There is the feeling that Christmas should basically resolve all the tensions and problems in families and people can feel pressure to make that happen. When it doesn't happen, guilt, anger and disappointment can result. Those who have suffered abuse in a family are especially vulnerable to feelings of anger, resentment, and depression.
        The other reason has to do with the commercialization of Christmas and the emphasis on gift-giving. Pressures to spend more than we have and expectation as to gifts can lead to guilt and even anger. Then there is the whole matter of the crowds, the time, the exhausting schedules and activities.
So what can be done about all this? Well, here are some things that might help...

1.  First and foremost, make Christmas a celebration of Christ. Don't confuse what has become the popular message of Christmas with the proclamation of the Gospels. The popular message is that suddenly, magically, all problems should be resolved and that everyone should be happy. The proclamation of the Gospels is that in Christ God came to be with us in a hurting, broken world and we wait still for the transformation of all things. Little by little, transformation comes by His presence and power and through our faith and obedience. The true joy and hope of Christmas is just that - God is with us in the midst of it all. So make worship a priority; take time to reflect; establish traditions that focus on Christ.
2.  Be something of a gift yourself to others — be something of Christ to others. Remember that not everyone has a family. Remember the hungry and the hurting. Be a friend to them in some way. As you seek to bring to birth something of hope and joy in others, that is often what comes to birth in you.
3.  Clarify expectations about family. Agree to a plan of getting together, but take the necessary time for yourself and your immediate family. Don't set yourself up for guilt or anger or disappointment.
4.  Eliminate expectations about gift-giving. Set limits. Be honest. Find alternative ways to express your love and caring. Sometimes, the best gift of all is unpressured time and being fully present for another person.
5.  Be aware of feelings that you have. Talk with someone about them. Don't isolate yourself. Be kind to yourself and allow kindness of others in — allow love and hope to get in.

        Doing these things can open us to the true wonder and joy of Christmas — the wonder of God with us, the joy of Christ born among us.  And even help us get carried
away with hope and love!

God be with you,

Jeff

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